Nomad Error Logs #4

Daedalus, father of Icarus. Master craftsman. Architect of the Minotaur's labyrinth. A figure of knowledge and wisdom. Deadbeat dad. Got his son imprisoned and then came up with the hairbrained escape plan that led to lcarus' death.

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Of course, that's not the point of the story of Icarus. It's meant to be a parable about the hubris of youth. Icarus is framed as the arrogant young man ignoring the advice of his wise father. But what if we take a closer look? Perhaps Icarus was wise not to follow his father's advice. This is a man after all, who attempted to murder his nephew in a fit of envy after seeing his potential for greatness (which may explain the Ancient Greeks' penchant for parables warning of the deadly consequences of disobeying one's elders. Threatened much?). Not to mention that Daedulus' dealings with the insane King of Minos got them imprisoned in the first place. It's possible that Icarus saw Daedulus' advice as foolish or self-interested. He was doomed either way. I wonder, after the fall of Icarus, how Daedulus felt. Did he acknowledge that his choices up to that point had led them down this path?

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For this project, I created a series of images depicting neglected, sorrowful-looking children. Captions above their heads written in Cyrillic, expressing words of anguish.

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The final image depicts the caregiver. As lost and sorrowful as the children.

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This particular series was created as a reflection of the insecurities and anxiety that an individual may experience in their role as a parent. The colossal weight of expectations and the nagging worry that we always fall short. The guilt we are left with when we fail to meet the standards we hold ourselves to. When we allow our selfishness or complacently to affect our better judgement. 

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I used to feel a lot of anxiety when my daughter was young. I'd often have nightmares in which she would have accidents caused by my negligence. Just that one fleeting second where your attention is taken by something else. Something insignificant. And then the worst happens to the one person who relied on you to keep them safe. Balconies were the worst. You can't stop gravity doing what it does best. As Icarus learned the hard way.

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As she gets older, the anxiety remains but the triggers have changed. Have I made decisions that will play out in her best interest? Have I always set a good example? Have I said something carelessly that has upset her? Have I brushed off her worries about something when I should have listened? 

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It made me realise that perhaps parents don't know what they're doing any more than the child does.

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What's more, it's not always easy for the parent and child to understand one another. We've grown up in different worlds. Two generations apart. And in my case, two countries 10,000 miles apart with vastly different cultures. My understanding of her struggles or viewpoints distorted by a filter of my own experiences.

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To create these works, each piece was run through several different processes to achieve this brown, grimy look. I also distorted the faces using pixelsorting and pixelstretching in order to reflect the perceived physical deterioration of the children, but also the emotional decay of the parent brought about by their self-doubt.

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I decided to have the text in a foreign language to help convey this idea of two people talking but not understanding one another.

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I wanted to use a language that had a script significantly different from my own language of English. 

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Greek was a bit too obvious and cliche, despite the Icarus connection, and would have felt too much like a play on the phrase "it's all Greek to me" - I wanted to steer clear of that kind Sunday newspaper comic strip satire vibe. Japanese was a little too on-the-nose considering my own situation. Plus, Japanese has a different set of connotations, being much more commonly used in science fiction or cyberpunk genres - it wasn’t really well suited for the story I wanted to tell.  I went with Russian because, in a literary sense, it is a language imbued with a rich history of guilt, shame and suffering, from Dostoevsky to Tolstoy to Chekhov, it was an obvious choice to convey those feelings.

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The three images of children contain the text;

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Мне грустно - I'm sad

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Простите меня - Forgive me

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я прощаю тебя - I forgive you

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These words reveal the innocence and naivety of the children, in that they still continue to blindly trust in the capabilities of the parent.

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For the image of the parent, a self-portrait, the caption reads "Bastard". We're left to wonder if these are these the eventual words of the children as they get older, or if this is a self-appointed label as the parent imagines the same mistakes Daedalus made.